At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm too high and old for this...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
