Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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