i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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