yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
