I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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