As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
