I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize