i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
