After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
