Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
