Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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