I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
