We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
