I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Randomize
