i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
