Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
bring money and cleavage
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
