His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
