Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
