I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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