He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
