let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
