But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
