U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
