Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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