Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
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I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
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PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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