I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
where does the pee come out of this thing
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Come on in and take your pants off
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