I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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