So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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