You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
