You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize