He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
