ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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