winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
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I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
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I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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