if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
