I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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