I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
