Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
