I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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