To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
NoShamevember. You game?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
