I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize