He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
