I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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