I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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