i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
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Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
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My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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