to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize