She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
