so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
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I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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