So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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