She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
