guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Damn victory sex feels great
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
