She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
