I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
