true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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