i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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