the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
