Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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