break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Im part way to drunk.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
