I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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