Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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