He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
