I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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