I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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