Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week