Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet