I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
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I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
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I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.