I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I said "one day" and that day is not today