Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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