Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
