oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize