Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
